s I go to leave the Walmart at 2:21 AM wearing my very fashionable crumpled white dress shirt and sweatpants combination, I see that there are two signs — one above each set of sliding doors — and the one on my right that says ENTER happens to detect me first and therefore opens and I’m leaving…and therein lies the profound philosophical question: does this mean I am entering the outside? Should I use the other door that says EXIT because I’m exiting Walmart or am I entering the outside? Both? Am I coming or going?
These are the kinds of questions that I blog about at 2:21 AM in the morning sitting in my car (if you thought this was going to be a serious philosophical question, you’ve clearly come to the wrong blog.)
Reminds me actually of a passenger I had that I was taking to the airport while driving for Uber — oh my God I just realized that Daniel will now know that I drive for Uber, I’ll never live that down I can see the syntactical atrocities already asking me if it’s slow — anyways, I recall going to the airport and this lady was talking about how she once gave somebody a ride and they were arguing about whether or not they should go to DEPARTURES or ARRIVALS and the guy wanted to fly out of the airport but he insisted that she should go to ARRIVALS because they were arriving at the airport, despite her protestations attempting to explain that departure refers to leaving on a plane from an airport and they should go there instead no luck, he insisted on going to ARRIVALS. I think there was also something to the fact that he was a man, foreign I believe, and she was a woman and some sort of authority was implied in that exchange from his perspective. Alas.
Anyway, the reason I titled this blog entry the way I did is because it suddenly occurred to me in a strange way that the expression being used for the title which is frequently used in a very hard to explain series of Facebook exchanges with a friend of a friend who is a professional troll that posts things behind me on my wall for no reason other than to be a dick (aside from the fact that his posts are usually misspelled in a an egregious way that can’t possibly be anything other than purposeful): why do I feel like I know what that expression means? I mean, I don’t know it’s literal origin but in some very bizarre, mentally hermaphroditic way I sense I know what it means…and that troubles me.
It takes me back to the age that he is, within that cohort like between 18 and 25 when your brain hasn’t fully finished forming but you act as if it has and annoy everyone. I remember working at a movie theater and my friends and I had odd little things like that, that we would do or say…like when somebody would do something stupid or ridiculous and we wanted to mock it we would do what I realized later became my own goddammit expression: one of us would take our keys out of our pocket and hurl it as far away as we could across the floor. The farther you threw it, the funnier it was. Holy shit, boys are stupid. Something is definitely wrong with us I think it has to do with gender, I don’t know girls that act that stupidly; well I’m sure they do but they must have their own version of stupid that I’m not privy to.
Fuk it, Blu-ray…I was gonna go on but MY GOD what the fuck really am I talking about?